so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
