what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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