Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
