why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
