He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize