so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
