i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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