I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize