I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
