D3 body, D1 cock
Sry I called you an 8
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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