i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
