one might say we're banned from that church
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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