do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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