Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
