Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
