Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
