Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
