I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
