What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize