I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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