one might say we're banned from that church
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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