He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize