After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize