Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
