It's Friday. Sex?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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