I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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