it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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