like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
