Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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