just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I need to stop coming to work sober
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
