If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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