The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
