remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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