a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize