Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
