she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We need a shit load of segways right now
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
