He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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