help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
