We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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