spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
