Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
high people should be assigned attendants
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize