I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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