just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Holy sore nipples Batman
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
