You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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