Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You made out with two different species that night
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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