am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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