...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
