For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
