I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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