who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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