New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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