That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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