OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
