i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
