is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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