Your mouth is God's brothel.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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