Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
