That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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