Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
